stay true to you,

basically, i don't know what i ever saw in you, you used to be everything to me and i mean that, i miss - i mean, i missed you but now i'm not so sure i should. i wish you could see just how much you've hurt me, just how much i really cared and just how much of a dick you're being. i'm moving on and you apparently already have but have some consideration please, that's all i ask. i loved you more than i loved anyone, until i met him. the next time you try to mess me around i won't even be around to put up with it, you've lost me forever so i hope you're happy with her because i'm finally rid of you.

you never really loved me did you? i know you didn't, if you did then why would you do this to me? to put me through this is just plain mean. she was mine first, you shouldn't have come along and claimed her like that, she's my best friend and she's not to become your little rebound. i'm okay with it – okay, i'm not but i'm trying to be but only for her sake, not yours, it'll never be for your sake because i've pansied around you for too long and its time for me to tell you that i'm sick of protecting you, sick of sticking up for you when everyone else hates you, you're on your own now because as much as i love her i don't think she's quite as strong as me like that, she's amazing and i don't blame you for falling for her but she's not good in arguments with people.

i've been through more than you can imagine. faced with so much everyday and i'm still holding my head high, i'd be lying if i said i wasn't proud. maybe i'm too confident with myself on the outside but that's just not what i'm like really. you've always known that i'm more complex than i seem and that i keep a lot to myself and don't even tell a
– and she's the one girl who i love more than life itself, everyone knows that.

i'm always going to be more or less independent, i'll always only need a small handful of people to keep my sanity at a suitable level and i already know who some of those people are, i wish you were one of them but i simply know that you're not and it almost kills me.

i had more than one reason for ending what we had, you can probably guess the other one and i'm sorry that its true, i really am. just know that the main reason was the one i gave you – you broke my heart and i didn't trust you anymore, it wasn't fair on either of us for me to be sat there watching you with other girls thinking "he's mine, but he who's to say he won't do it again?" i don't see how you could even stand knowing i felt like that – if it had been me it would've driven me crazy. you said you were trying to win back my trust, but you didn't really try did you, or i certainly don't think you did.

 

all i know is; i still love you, its starting to fade and i'm almost over you, i'm almost over this and i'm almost perfectly happy again. i hope you miss me, i hope you always will and i hope you realise what you've lost – what used to be my undying love which i know now was never really undying, just temperamental. i've found the guy i really love, he was there all along, i just didn't realise how much i really did love him until now, and i want you to know that i'll be okay without you and that i can cope with this, so don't ever worry about me – not that you would. x