beautiful lie,

there's a sadness that they don't see when you come to me with your sorrows, it's not enough for you to cry, cuz you don't know why it still hurts. i know we've been here a thousand times with your past full of lies, it's still there, a constant struggle to find yourself but i know that i can't help you at all. you don't have nothing but pride to keep you alive, i can say it will be fine, it's a beautiful lie but please don't leave it all up to me. i see the way they talk at you, they are always trying to prove that they are better, you run away cuz you can't take the way they make you feel. another self hate behind locked doors, that then nobody knows something's wrong, you've made a cage that you can't break, i've tried but i can't help at all – cuz you know that.

today started off slowly, then it sped up ridiculously. it's been much easier than yesterday was, maybe i'm used to that emptiness without you, but it shan't be needed anymore, you'll be back soon and i know i can't wait just to talk to you.

i was worried about her earlier, not your her just in case you thought that's who i meant, she seemed so lost. whenever she gets like that i don't know what to do, i care about her loads and i hate worrying about her – it almost tears me apart. she seems okay now, it won't stop me worrying but hey-ho.

all i want to do now is to curl up in your arms, then maybe i'd start to feel like everything was perfect – which actually, it pretty much is now. two magpies this morning, and you know that i rely on those little birds.

the world is sleeping, but i'd rather be awake. night is the best time, my favourite time. i'm starting to waffle now, a whole two days without you does this to me... you and the loveliness you possess.

 

i love you, don't forget that – ever.